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Year: 2020

Hygge? You know your soaking in it…

Hi, there beautiful people, looking forward to emerging from your cocoons, the ‘bubble’ you’ve been in these past 12 weeks? Must admit, I’m not ready to leave mine yet. Been relishing the fresh air on long beach walks with the man, the simple pleasure of an almond milk latte reward, home-cooked meals, lighting candles once reserved for special occasions, reading, writing, reflecting, giggling at TicTok revellers – the little pleasures I’d once reserved for ‘when I had time’. Then it dawned on me – COVID-19 and ensuing isolation have been our catalyst for implementing the Danish concept of ‘Hygge’ – the Danes would be proud! The past few months have taught us (me at least) the secret to their contentment first hand – we’ve been soaking in it! Thought I’d reshare a post I wrote this time last year on the art of Hygge. Read on to see just how you’ve been adopting the concept of Hygge.

July 14 2019: Hi, there lovely readers, I’m jumping off the “love your work” theme and taking a moment to pause, reflect and consider the flip side of our working life, the stuff that fuels our capacity to show up and deliver in the first place. I’m talking downtime.

As the crisper eves continue, it’s the perfect time to settle in, get cosy, and indulge in a little comfort and self-care with friends, loved ones and fur-babies. The Danish way. The Danes tie the ideas of companionship, wholesomeness, and contentment into one harmonious whole and call it “Hygge.” Come with me as we explore the Danish world of “Hygge” – pronounced “HUE-guh” – a delightful word that has no exact equivalent in English but loosely translates to ‘cosiness.’

Hygge?

Coming from an Old Norse word, “hugga,” means to comfort or console, also the source of the English word “hug” and that’s all about warmth, comfort, and closeness – all the feelings you get from a hug. In Denmark, Hygge is a central part of the culture, one of the reasons happiness economists rate Denmark as the happiest country in the world, in spite of a wet, chilly climate where it rains for nearly half the year.

Country Living describes Hygge as “a feeling of cosy contentment and well-being through enjoying the simple things in life.” British journalist Helen Russell, author of “The Year of Living Danishly,” calls it “taking pleasure in the presence of gentle, soothing things.”

Examples of hygge?

Hygge life typically shares five main features:

Comfort. Snuggling around a crackling fire, cosied up in woollies with a cup of mulled wine, that’s the Danish way.

Companionship. Sharing that fireside and mulled wine with an intimate group of friends and fur-babies.

Relaxation. A leisurely walk, kicking back with a good read, immersing one’s self in creative hobbies, taking time to breathe, meditate, be still.

Connecting with Nature. Immersing oneself in the sights, sounds, and smells of nature, feeling raindrops on our face, marvelling at cloud formations as thunderstorms roll in.

Simplicity. Enjoying that morning coffee snuggled in your bathrobe while sitting by an open window and listening to the birds’ songs. So Hygge!

Show me how to hygge?

As you can see, the Hygge lifestyle is within anyone’s grasp, essentially, it focuses on slowing down, embracing nature and making more time for friends. Keen to immerse yourself in this way of life? Here are 12 suggestions to get you started…

1. Light a candle (or ten)
A big part of the Hygge gig, so no surprises that Danes go through more candles than any other nation on earth, they even use the term “lyselukker,” meaning “someone who puts out the candles,” to refer to a spoilsport. Many stores carry large bags 100 tea lights for under $15, too easy! I’m a sucker for both these and scented candles.

2. Light that fireplace
If a tiny candle flame is cosy, a fire is even cosier, after all, who doesn’t love watching flickering flames? A chance to toast a few marshmallows as well. No indoor fireplace? Why not stream a video of a crackling fire on your TV. You may not feel the heat, but you can still watch the flames flicker and hear the logs pop. There’s an app for that, and Youtube has10-hour videos as well.

3. Snuggle into comfy clothes
Jump into something easy and comfortable. Bulky sweaters and knitted socks or your favourite snuggly leisurewear, long as you’re comfy. I indulged in a set of cashmere pant and cardigan while settling into a cold Europe a few years ago and they’re still my winter faves.

4. Take a walk
Danes love a pleasant walk in all kinds of weather. Especially lovely with a friend or a group of friends, or just you and your dog – a great way to get closer to nature.

5. Ride a bike
Bikes are so Hygge because they move at a slower pace than cars, giving you time to enjoy the scenery. Already own a bike? Go for it! Or jump on one of the many yellow jobs lurking around our fair cities. Why not make the fresh food markets your first stop. Why?

6. Share a meal
Bring the outdoors in by gathering fresh, natural ingredients for homemade muesli, pancakes, fruit compote, roast lamb, meatballs, just some of the Danish faves, the focus being on comfort food rather than haute cuisine. If cooking for a crowd is not your gig, have your friends bring their favourite cosy dishes to share.

7. Bring nature indoors
While foraging at the markets for that fresh produce, grab a bunch of fresh flowers, foliage or branches from your garden, pine cones, anything that will fill your home with nature’s glorious work.

8. Share a warm drink

The Danes love a glogg or spiced mulled wine. Yum! However, any kind of hot drink – coffee, tea, hot chocolate -will add to the hyggelig atmosphere. Nothing cosier than sitting snuggled with a steaming mug in your hands on a cold, wet winters day.

9. Read a Book
A fabulous way to slow down and detach yourself from the busy, fast-paced modern world. Hard copy or Kindle, doesn’t matter (though my Mum would beg to differ – she loves the smell of a good book), as long as you can lose yourself in that story.

10. Indulge in a TV binge with friends
The Danes especially love police procedurals about deranged killers, and they’re pretty fond of scary movies too (stick to fictional scares though otherwise, you’ll be creating the wrong mood entirely!), feeling safe and cosied up amidst their friends. Doesn’t matter your preferences, as long as you’re relaxing.

11. Play Board Games
Yep, that’s a very Hygge way to spend an evening while ticking off three Hygge boxes: companionship, relaxation, and simplicity. Cards, board games, participation games abound.

12. Snuggle
I love a good snuggle, after all, what could be cosier than cuddling? Again the elements of Hygge – comfort, relaxation, simplicity, and spending time with people you’re close to. Snuggle with your partner, your kids, your bestie, your pet. Heck, why not all of them at the same time. It’s warm and joyful, and it costs not a cent.

Our world is hectic, we tend to take pride in who’s put the longest hours in, is working the hardest, and that’s precisely why Hygge is so useful for us. Hygge forces us to slow down and relax. Kick off with this top twelve and before you know it, you’ll be embracing the Danish ‘Hygge’ with ease.

Feel free to share your own Hygge ideas won’t you…

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Ripping up paper the right way…

Hi, there lovely readers. Introspection. I suspect we’ve all been indulging in this of late – examining our thoughts and feelings as we reconcile with COVID-19. For me, exploring my own company one week, my loved one’s the next as I flit between two homes; work kit in one box, temperament in another. No children involved. I can’t begin to imagine what life’s been like for those who’ve been juggling partners and kids 24/7. Make or break, survive, thrive or implode. How many words expressed that were better left unsaid?

For the most part, expressing ourselves is vital, for effective communication with family, friends, and work colleagues is critical for healthy, harmonious relationships. There are also times where suppressing them is even more critical. We pat our selves on the back for being so disciplined as we keep those thought bubbles intact yet all that pent up emotion can have disastrous emotional consequences. So how can we let those thought bubbles burst without potential blowback? Journalling my lovely friends. Journalling.

"There are no accusations with writing, no judgment, no shame, only freedom "
(Jessica Sorensen)

Psychologists, sport and otherwise, recommend writing for it’s an effective way to check in with our thoughts, feelings and emotions, positive, negative, or otherwise. An opportunity to process the noise in our heads and allow the subconscious to have a voice. Just enjoying the physical act of putting pen to paper can be a panacea for the soul. No surprises then, that paper journals have been enjoying a resurgence of late. They’re considered the new ‘mindfulness’ app, as evidenced by the volume of beautiful paper journals currently on the market. That said, for those planning to explore the beauty of journaling, opening to that first crisp white page can be quite daunting. What to write?

How to acknowledge thoughts through words and drawings

Keen to totally immerse yourself in the moment as you take your favourite pen to your brand new paper? Why not start by engaging all the senses? It’s simple. First up, create five columns. Now head them up with ‘Smell’, ‘Touch’, Taste’, ‘See’, and ‘Hear’ (or descriptors that personally resonate for you). Now jot down all the fragrances that appeal to you in the ‘Smell’ column. Roast lamb, roses, the ocean, mown grass, wet cats, forest floors – whatever your bliss, jot them all down. Repeat for the remainder. Oh! And be sure to surround yourself with at least one from each list daily – a great way to reconnect with the simple joys of life.

Dealing with a difficult person or situation? Or someone who elicits strong positive or negative emotions but to whom you might find it difficult, if not impossible, to talk to in real life? Let those thoughts and feelings bleed onto your paper. Don’t judge, criticise, or censor your thoughts or pay any attention to spelling, grammar, or tidiness, just let the words flow. Don’t lift the pen, simply keep those emotions flowing. Ahhh… now doesn’t that feel good?

Trying to reconcile with past experiences? Journalling by way of a letter to a person with whom you may have had, or still have, a challenging relationship issue, can also be helpful. It won’t be posted, but it may help you make peace with yourself.

Hampered by creative block? Doodling, sketching to visualise ideas, jotting down keywords, end goals, plotting thoughts all have the potential to unblock. Take a peek at Visual Journalling on Pinterest for inspiration.

Struggling to find grounding? When life seems to have thrown a particularly wicked curveball your way, a gratitude journal is a great way to remind yourself of the positives in your life. It may be as simple as ‘I made someone smile today’, ‘I’m healthy’. ‘I have a roof over my head’. ‘Had a lovely walk this eve’, ‘Enjoyed time with my friend’, had the best almond milk chai latte. A great way to lift your spirit when feeling low.

A bundle of worries cluttering the mind? Write them all down, review, and identify those you don’t have any control over. No draw a firm line through them and contract with yourself to never revisit them. Now jot two things you’ll do to address those you can control on a new page. Voila, your subconscious has something positive to work on while your sleeping. Speaking of sleep…

Counting sheep to find sleep? Experts say we should grab that journal and write the minute we wake, 200 words plus as we release a stream of consciousness in preparation for the coming day. Doing the same last thing in the eve is known to help clear the mind from what I call the ‘chattering monkeys’, instilling a sense of calm as we cruise into sleep. Good night 🙂

Dealing with Zoomin’ fatigue…

Hi, there lovely readers – I’ve been thinking about our new way of communicating. How many of you have conducted happy hour drinkies with friends, checked in on family, collaborated with work colleagues, the children’s school teachers, and perhaps even your doctor via video call? Most of you I’m sure, for it’s the new norm. And I’m beginning to find it exhausting, aren’t you? It seems I’m not alone for the feeling has spurred talk of a new psychological affliction: “Zoom fatigue.”Mentions of “Zoom fatigue” have increasingly popped up on social media, and Google searches for the same phrase have steadily increased since we moved to self-isolation. So why are we finding video calls so draining? 

Video conferencing forces us to focus more intently on conversations to absorb information, whereas when in a conference room, a whispered side exchange can help us quickly catch up if we’ve been distracted. Unless we use the private chat feature or fiddle with the unmute button to ask a colleague to repeat themselves, the information goes begging.

Video calls also make it easier than ever to lose focus. We figure that yes, we absolutely can listen while checking our email, texting a friend, popping an emoji on WhatsApp, and all within the same thirty seconds. Except, of course, such distractions mean we don’t end up doing much listening at all. Oh! And add to this our work-from-home situations. 

We’re no longer just dialing into one or two virtual meetings, and if we don’t have a private space to do so, we’re continually asking our loved ones not to disturb us. Or we are trying not to laugh as they slither across the floor to grab something from the dining table.  

How we process information via video calls also contributes to “Zoom fatigue”, given the only way we can show we’re paying attention is to look at the camera. In real life, how often do we stand within three feet of a colleague and stare at their face? Rarely. Engaging in a “constant gaze” makes us both uncomfortable and tired. 

In-person, we use our peripheral vision to glance out the window or look at others in the room, on a video call we worry that by doing so, folk will think we’re not paying attention. On a video call, we are also staring at a small image of ourselves, hyper-aware of every wrinkle, every expression, and we’re worried about how folk might interpret us. No wonder our brains are growing fatigued. 

It’s not all bad news! Here are five research-based tips that can help us all make video calls less exhausting.

Stop Multitasking 

We think we can combat more tasks in less time; however, research shows that trying to do multiple things at once actually compromises performance. As we need to turn certain parts of our brain off and on for different types of work, switching between tasks can cost as much as 40 % of our productive time. Researchers also say that when we multitask, we can’t remember things as well as our more singularly focused peers. 

When next you’re on video chat, close any tabs or programs that might distract you, put your phone away, and stay present. That text, email, or Snapchat response can wait 15 minutes, and you’ll be able to craft a better response when you’ve finished.

Build in a break or two 

Schedule mini-breaks during longer calls by minimising the window or by taking your gaze away from your computer for a few seconds. It’s possible to listen without staring at the screen for the whole duration. Simply let your eyes rest for a moment. For those days when you’ve back-to-back calls, try making them 25 or 50 minutes; giving yourself enough time in between to get up, stretch and move around before the next. If you are on a video call of an hour or more, let folks know it’s okay to turn their cameras off for parts of the call.

Reduce onscreen stimuli 

Research shows that when we’re on video, we tend to spend the most time gazing at our own face. To avoid this, hide yourself from view. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that on video, we focus on other people’s backgrounds as well. Viewing the furniture, plants, and wallpaper in five or more other people’s rooms means our brains have to process multiple visual environmental cues at the same time. Encouraging people to use plain backgrounds, or agree as a group to have everyone who is not talking turn off their video will help combat mental fatigue.

Make virtual social events optional 

After days of back-to-back video calls, it’s normal to feel drained, particularly if you’re an introvert. Keeping virtual social sessions optional, meaning that people are welcome but not obligated to join will help. Why not appoint a facilitator if you’re expecting a large group. And to ensure everyone doesn’t start speaking at once, make it clear in what order people should talk so that all have the opportunity to hear one another. Create and circulate a brief framework of goals as well for it’s easy to get overwhelmed when we are unsure of what the video call expects of us, or if we’re continually trying to figure out when we should or should not chime in.

Switch to phone calls or email 

Are there any conversations you could have over Slack or email instead? If it’s late, you’re feeling video fatigued, and you’ve yet another call, why not ask the person with whom you plan to speak “I’d love a break from video calls, how would you feel if we were to do this over the phone?” I bet your one on one will appreciate. 

Many people now feel a tendency to treat video as the default for all communication. Yet, video calls can feel relatively intimate and invasive in some situations, especially when communicating with people such as clients or network outside of your organisation. Folk with whom you’d usually talk to via phone. If your client FaceTimes you with no warning, it’s okay to decline and suggest a call instead.

Having stared at my own and 25 other faces across 30 hours from midnight to dawn for five days straight, I fell into a classic state of Zoom fatigue and will thus be implementing every one of these steps! Of course, feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments box. 

Stay safe, dear reader x

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