“Telling ourselves the story of “always + undesired outcome” wreaks havoc, not just on our ability to succeed, but on our lives. We begin to see failure and pain as a matter of fate. We stop believing a successful outcome is possible. That disbelief in possibility leads to inaction, which in turn seals the inevitability of our past becoming our future.” So says Jonathan Fields and he’s absolutely right. Have caught myself doing exactly that on more than one occasion and I bet you have too.
Wearing my career transition expert hat I often hear my candidates exclaiming ‘I always freeze in interviews’, ‘I always get rejected’, I always…(insert any number of negative job search fears) and no matter how much encouragement I invest in helping them reframe such statements, there are times when I realise they are simply mired in what Jonathan describes as ‘false negative absolutes’.
As he says, “Yes, it may take a long time. Yes, we may get knocked to the ground a hundred times first. Yes, we may still struggle. Yes, other people may nail it on the first try, while we continue to get taken down. Yes, not getting what we want out of the gate sucks. Yes, we may still fail, no matter how many paths to success we try.”
But, then again, we may not…
If you find yourself succumbing to the ‘tyranny of always’ too often to care to mention, this fabulous blog message is for you. Find it here….The Tyranny of Always
Thanks Jonathan, another brilliant article.
PS: If you’re keen to see more from Jonathan here’s another piece of inspiration I gleaned from him: Life Moves Pretty Fast