Inspire
Lessons from a geriatric starlet…
“If you want to stay young, you have to think young. Having a sense of wonder, a sense of humour and a sense of curiosity,” says 96-year-old Iris Apfel, the fabulously forward-thinking businesswoman, interior designer, fashion icon and author. “I never want to be an old fuddy-duddy; I hold the self-proclaimed record for being the World’s Oldest Living Teenager, and I intend to keep it that way,”
Positivity personified my lovely readers, and as the blog is all about living, laughing, loving, learning and leaving a legacy (with style), who better than Iris to reinforce the message?
My Great Grandmother graciously exited this mortal coil at 104 (but not before rousing her entire posse of aged care facility cohorts into performing a Christmas Eve play for Brighton’s (UK) Lord Mayer), and I’m aiming for 105! And why not when there are so many fabulous women from whom to draw inspiration? Think Helen Mirren – 72 – actress, agitator and influencer; Dr Lyn Slater – 64 – Professor, speaker, writer, model, social media influencer; Carmen Dell’Orefice – 86 – model and muse; Vivienne Westwood – 77 – edgy fashion designer – to name a few. Today, Iris.
(Image: Iris Apfel – photo credit cnbc.com)
Here Iris – of the huge glasses, chunky jewellery, vibrant colours, Ari Seth Kohen Muse, 923k Instagram follower fame – shares her top 10 suggestions for thinking ‘young.’
1) “Don’t obsess over your age.”
‘Gettin’ old ain’t for sissies’ but so what? It’s just a number. We may not like getting older but what’s the alternative? We’re here, embrace it and put your life experience to work to give something back to other people.’
2) “Pick a partner who celebrates your successes.”
Iris’s partner Carl died at the age of 100, but not before providing encouragement and unwavering support (post business partnership retirement) as he pushed Iris into the limelight and basked in her successes. He’s the drive behind her book ‘Accidental Icon.’
3) “When something excites you, go for it.”
Iris never expected people to know her name or recognise her face, or be labelled a fashion icon, or find museums exhibiting her clothing and accessories, or be selected to be a cover girl and the face of a cosmetics company – and all in her 90’s. She says she just feels things in her gut and does them. Yes, it takes energy and strength to make things happen, to learn how to master a skill, push fears aside and she agrees that many would feel comfortable merely going with the flow but in her words “that’s not very interesting.”
4) “To stay young, you have to think young.”
“You have two of anything and chances are one of them is going to hurt when you get up in the morning. But you have to get up and move beyond the pain. If you want to stay young, you have to think young. Having a sense of wonder, a sense of humour and a sense of curiosity — these are my tonics,” she says. “They keep you young, childlike, open to new people and things, ready for another adventure.” Damn, I love this woman!
Image: Iris Apfel – photo credit cnbc.com
5) “Care about your own opinion above anyone else’s.”
Despite having to learn how to play bridge when she was younger Iris firmly declares she never tried to fit in. She didn’t go out of her way to be a rebel or do things that were not socially acceptable, Iris naturally learnt early on that she had to be her own person to be content.
“If you have to be all things to all people, you end up being ‘nothin’ to nobody.” Some would feel the need to label Iris’s style as ‘different’ or ‘eccentric’, but that of no concern to her. “I don’t dress to be stared at; I dress for myself. When you don’t dress like everyone else, you don’t have to think like everyone else.”
6) “But don’t isolate yourself, either.”
Iris says “Here’s the critical part: I know I’m not an island, but rather part of the main, to paraphrase [the poet] Mr John Donne. I fit in but in my way.” Her advice is to fit in first and then step out. In her words – “there’s a difference between being perceived of as original and being accepted, even loved for it, and being perceived as different and resented for it”. It requires balance.
7) “Money doesn’t buy success”
Iris believes that if you’re happy, have found love and are surrounded by good folk, doing what gives you pleasure while giving back to others, that’s what constitutes success.
8) “Style is not about spending money”
Indeed, style is not about wearing expensive clothes, as we’ve seen in the media one can be dressed in the latest couture, sporting ten-thousand-dollar shoes and dripping with jewellery and still look like Myer’s Christmas windows. Nope. it’s not what you wear but how you wear it.
I love that Iris wears bangles that cost three bucks alongside valuable pieces, putting things together as her spirit moves her. In her words “When you try too hard to have style, you look uncomfortable, like you’re wearing a costume…and if you’re uptight, you won’t be able to carry off even a seemingly perfect outfit”. Her recommendation when this happens? “Abandon the whole thing, for it’s better to be happy than well dressed.”
9) “Start new endeavours with one small step.”
“You only fail if you do not try,” says Apfel.
Iris wanted to start a fabric business, so she figured out how to do it claiming that had she thought about opening Old World Weavers too much, she probably wouldn’t have pursued her dream. She believes that sometimes we just have to take action, even if it is a small step. In her 90+ years she has applied this philosophy to living — and dressing — and believes it has never steered her in the wrong direction.
10) “Don’t pretend you are younger than you are.”
I’m constantly amazed at folk who deliberately take a few years off their age. Like Iris, I believe there’s nothing wrong with wrinkles. “When you’re older, trying to look years younger is foolish, and you’re not fooling anyone. When you’re seventy-five, and you get a face-lift, nobody is going to think you are thirty,” she says. Hear hear! Fancy the full story? Grab her book now!
You have the power babe!
Hi lovely readers! Confidence! Do you have it, do I have it? There were once times when I found myself wanting to stay under the Doona rather than deliver new workshop content to an unknown audience. Fighting the urge to sneak off to the foyer with an ‘urgent call’ excuse rather than mingle at networking events. Tempted to feign a foreign disease illness when the boss’s, boss’s boss arrived in town – get the picture? Yeah! I’m talking confidence, that vital ingredient that helps us go about our business with panache sprinkled with a spot of je ne sais quai.
Confidence – the stuff that gets us performing in front of that audience, engaging in networking conversations, sharing thoughts with the company’s key players. If you’re facing a big week and needing a little confidence boost of your own, here’s my top 10 boosts…each one personally test-driven by your’s truly. And for the already uber-cool amongst us – a refresher. Read on…
